Have enough courage to trust love one more time. and always one more time.

I am only a girl. 1 in billions. I am full of imperfections and shortcomings. Placed on my body and my soul are deep wounds and scars. Scars that i feel like will never disappear. They have placed an imprint on my character. I am who I am because of these. Some were created by the actions of others and some were made through my own choices. But I wish my heart was as strong as my body has continually proven to me. My body has never stopped fighting. Even when I have given it little reason to continue, it has protected me and healed in miraculous ways. This shell of me has warned me and loved me. Yet, my heart has been fortress, built stronger as those who have entered its walls have left it bleeding and wounded. But, there have been few who have breeched its walls despite the odds  and stitched up those wounds. They have treated this heart with the upmost care and held it gently in their hands, showing the way the heart ought to have been treated. They have held it close. And for some reason I know they won't ever let it go. 

“Don’t view your scars in life as something bad and don’t feel that you have to hide them. Each scar we bear tells of a battle we’ve fought and of the things we’ve overcome to be here today. They are a testimony of where we’ve been, reminding us that we are no longer there in life, that we have made progress by moving forward, and when others see those scars, they don’t see us as damaged or broken but they are inspired by the true story behind the scars, the story that tells of our struggles and triumphs, of our battles and our victories. Those scars are the marks of a strong, courageous warrior and fighter on life’s battlefield who has never given up or given in but who has continued to stand steadfast among opposition and adversity, finding the strength within to fight back and give life everything they have because they believe in themselves and aren’t afraid of the challenges they are faced with.” -Unknown

"Kept me near thy side"

So now since my class is over and writing on my blog is no longer an assignment, i have decided that i want to keep it up. I dont know if anyone is really going to read this so if nothing else, i am writing for myself. I deleted my facebook as well so in an effort to get away from that habit, im hoping that i can direct my attention here and in other places.
It has been a pretty hard week ill say! and its been really easy to feel alone and lost. but i was talking with someone about this hymn and through it all, its been on constant replay in my mind. it has always been my favorite but i think talking about it really made it real for me and i holds a deeper meaning than i thought. so for now this is my comfort:

Abide With Me Tis Eventide

Abide with me; 'tis eventide.The day is past and gone;The shadows of the evening fall;The night is coming on.Within my heart a welcome guest,Within my home abide.
O Savior, stay this night with me;Behold, 'tis eventide.O Savior, stay this night with me;Behold, 'tis eventide.
Abide with me; 'tis eventide.Thy walk today with meHas made my heart within me burn,As I communed with thee.Thy earnest words have filled my soulAnd kept me near thy side.
Abide with me; 'tis eventide,And lone will be the nightIf I cannot commune with theeNor find in thee my light.The darkness of the world, I fear,Would in my home abide.

the final post!

So this is finally number 20! And I must say that I never thought I'd get here! But I think its definitely due to the fact that I procrastinated this assignment more than I should of and I am definitely disappointed that I did. I think this blog has given me the opportunity to really share my thoughts and feelings on different issues and subjects. Looking back on it now I am thankful that I was given this blog for an assignment because I am definitely going to try and keep up on it in the future!

Some surprises that I didn't expect were how many people have been interested in my blog and who actually reads it! It really made me think about the things I was writing and seeing who my audience is as I have shared my testimony and different experiences and thoughts on my life. I definitely found my self reflecting more on questions and lessons because I knew I would have to write about it later. This assignment has helped me to not take my experiences for granted and realize everything I have been blessed with.

Searching the Scriptures

As I read throughout Alma 5-7 this past week, I found the main message that stuck out to me was that of repentance and what one must do in order to become spotless before God. God has sent forth the invitation to all men to repent and to come unto him as he waits with his “arms of mercy are extended towards them”. The words a “mighty change” was prominent throughout these verses. As the people humbled themselves and put their trust in the true and living God, they were faithful to the end and therefore were saved. This helped me to remember what it is that I must be doing to continually repent of my wrongdoings and have a heart of mighty change. As I struggle and am faced with the trials that come upon me, I have faith that as I do these things, the Lord will bless me. 

            The verses at the end of Alma 7 gives us distinct things that we must do in order to walk blameless before God. “And now I would that ye should be humble, and be submissive and gentle; easy to be entreated; full of patience and longsuffering being temperate in all things; being diligent in keeping the commandments of God at all times; asking for whatsoever things ye stand in need, both spiritual and temporal; always returning thanks unto God for whatsoever things ye do receive.” This is a great reminder to me of the things that I must be doing so that the Lord might be able to bless me. There is great peace found when I do what is right and have the light of faith, hope, and charity in my life.

            Another point that stood out to me was the importance of the Spirit. The Spirit know all things and relying on that constant guide can increase my faith and give the protection I need to get through. I am thankful for the words of the prophets and the ability I have to listen to the spirit and repent. 

Ballet Showcase 2011

My roomie is an amazing ballerina and she actually dances here at BYU. She wanted to attend the Ballet Showcase performance this past weekend so naturally, being the amazing friend I am, I said that I would love to attend the show with her. The show was amazing and I really enjoyed the entire performance! All of the dances were very captivating and captured my attention. The dancers here at BYU are very strong dancers and have a lot of talent. I have always had a secret love for dance and really enjoyed this performance. I am so thankful to my roomie for telling me about this wonderful opportunity to be "artsy". It was a great chance to appreciate the talents of others. Oh and the photo is actually one of my roomie's senior photos!

BFFAEAEAEAEAEAe

In my life I have been blessed with amazing friends that have had a huge influence on my life and I don't know how I would of made it through without them. I have made amazing friends while being at college that I know will be my life long friends. Its hard to imagine that I have only been at BYU for a little over three months, because it feels like the people I am closest with have been in my life forever! I have had some amazing experiences while I have been here that I will never forget. And I know there will be so many good times to come. I feel as though I have already grown so much as a person and I think I owe a lot of that to my friends. They have become my family and have stayed by my side through my good and bad days. I love Mikyla Arrington

an international cinema experience

The other day I had the chance to watch a movie with some friends through International Cinema. Seeing as though this was the first Bollywood film I had ever seen it was quite the experience! The movie was Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi, whatever that means! But, it was nonetheless quite entertaining. I thought I would have a difficult time with the Hindi movie with english subtitles but it proved to not be so bad. The film was about a middle aged man who had lost his love for life but is able to find it once again by assuming a new identity. I am glad that I got to see this move and finally witness a true, classic Bollywood! It was full of all the singing, dancing, and romance that I could imagine!